Guides
CBT or DBT: What Is the Difference?
You do not need to learn therapy terms before we can talk about a difficult evening.
Start Here
The short answer
CBT helps us look at the links between thoughts, feelings and actions. DBT offers skills for handling intense emotions and communicating needs. I draw on both, choosing what fits the moment rather than asking you to select one method before we meet.
At a Glance
Two Ways to Think About It
CBT
- A starting point
- Notice what you are telling yourself and how it affects your response.
- An example
- At 10 pm, a worry spiral says tomorrow will go badly because one task is unfinished.
- Practice
- Look at the evidence and try a more balanced thought or a manageable action.
DBT Skills
- A starting point
- Notice an intense feeling and make room for a pause before responding.
- An example
- At 5 pm, a meltdown leaves you close to shouting while dinner and homework wait.
- Practice
- Slow down, name what is happening and practice a clearer request or boundary.
One Option
When looking at thoughts fits
- You keep turning a small mistake into a judgment about yourself. We can examine that thought without pretending the hard part of your day did not happen.
- Worry leads you to check, plan or put things off repeatedly. I ask what the response does for you now and what it costs over time.
Another Option
When emotion skills fit
- Your feelings rise faster than you can find words. We can practice noticing body signals and choosing a small pause, not expecting you to feel calm on command.
- You know what you need but struggle to ask during conflict. We can rehearse clear language that respects your needs without promising how another person will respond.
Working Together
How I can help
Sometimes we start with a skill for an intense moment, then return to the thoughts behind it. Sometimes we begin by checking a thought and discover that you also need a boundary.
I keep the language plain and ask what seems useful. As a mother of four, I understand that a skill needs to fit a real evening. We review what happened without grading your effort. Sessions are 45 to 50 minutes by video.
ApproachIf you are in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, call or text 988, or call 911.
Your Own Priorities
Questions to ask yourself
- 1.
What thought comes up most often when the day gets hard?
- 2.
What do I notice in my body before I react?
- 3.
Is there a small response I would like to practice instead?
Questions
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I have to choose CBT or DBT?
Will I have homework?
Can we work on parenting stress?
We can start with one real moment.
Bring a worry spiral or a tense evening, not a perfect explanation.